Ah, vacation! After a ridiculously hard month or so that featured a whole lot of sixty-plus hour work weeks interleaved with multiple familial tragedies, it’s time to take a week off from work to get my head back on straight so I can stop making ridiculous coding errors and find wherever it is my creative mojo disappeared off to.
Staying home should be nice and relaxing, right? No work stress, time to myself, some quiet space for rebraining. You’d think that, wouldn’t you? Oh, that’s right, I have a one-year-old.
It’s amazing how a human so small can make so much noise. A few minutes ago, I’m pretty sure he managed to get every single one of his toys to make a racket at the same time, even including bouncing his favorite beach ball off of so many surfaces in such a short time that he must have cloned himself and the ball. (Dad, remind me to thank you so much for the remote-controlled Caterpillar truck which comes with a 300-watt Rockford Fosgate amplifier built into it.)
And when he’s not making all the noise ever, of course, he’s into everything oh em gee. The boy has a voracious curiosity combined with a stubborn determination, which I think will serve him very well in later years…provided those same qualities of his permit me to let him live long enough. Normally, his favorite room in the house is the bathroom, because that’s the one room he’s not allowed to explore; today, however, his favorite room by far has been the office, because that’s where I’m trying to concentrate on stuff.
ANDREW: Oh, hey, Dad. What’s up? How’s things?
ME: Andrew, I’m trying to do some thinking and some planning in here, can you maybe go–
ANDREW: Oh look it’s hair and dust bunnies in one little ball I can put right into my mouth nom nom nom! Dad, you should try this, it’s so good.
ME: Hey, Andrew, come on, let’s not play with–
ANDREW: Dad did you see that there’s a mouse up here and a keyboard and hey look it’s a coffee mug did you have any idea?!
ME: Andrew, really, I’m trying to–
ANDREW: Oh hey is this a surge protector and is that your computer plugged into it and is that the off switch?!
ME: Andrew, no! That’s not–
ANDREW: YES IT IS OH WOW IT’S THE OFF SWITCH I COULD JUST–
ME: Andrew, don’t! You can’t–
ANDREW: OH PLEASE I HAVE TO I HAVE TO LET ME–
ME: Kelsey, come get your brother!
…but repeat that, oh, a dozen or more times. The boy is exhausting and he doesn’t even walk yet.
(For extra added bonus noise/fun, there’s an occasional loud clanking or crashing sound from the eight-year-old, followed close after by an “Everything’s okay, Dad!” I’ve learned not to ask about those sounds.)